How to Mess up Monkey Bread

1. One morning, while clearing space for ice cube trays because the ice maker is broken, find bag of frozen bread dough buried in freezer. Make mental note to use to make monkey bread that night.
2. Upon arriving home in early afternoon, remove frozen dough from freezer.
3. When dough is partially thawed, follow directions on back of package. Note that the use by date is June of 2006. Set pan with "monkey bread" ingredients in laundry room to rise.
4. Check after one hour and note that it has barely risen.
5. Check after two hours and note that it has barely risen. Decide to bake anyway.
6. Baked "monkey bread" does not hold together, so its lumps resemble...well, 11 yr old son describes it as something he might find in the back yard where the dog hangs out. Son refuses to eat.
7. Eat a few lumps, consistency is that of...a sneaker? the melted butter/brown sugar/cinnamon/pecan topping, however, is pretty yummy, so I eat some with a spoon while chatting on the phone.
8. Make mental note to clean out other shelves in freezer to determine what other "goodies" are lurking!